


Telepathetic and Brosefino’s adventures in Savage Land

by cybersuzy



Category: X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men: The Animated Series
Genre: Animal Death, Art, Charles Is a Big Dorkface, Crack, Erik has Feelings, Erik is Crushing Harder than a 12-year Old Girl, Fluff, Grumpy Old Men, Humor, Illustrated, M/M, Savage Land, Slow Burn, it's a fictional extinct and angry animal but still
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2014-12-17
Packaged: 2018-02-28 22:14:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2749067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cybersuzy/pseuds/cybersuzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charles Xavier and Magneto have been lured to Savage Land. For what nefarious purposes? And more importantly, will they survive in this hostile environment without strangling the other... or fall in bed... well, on the wet earth. Savage Land doesn't offer much in term of amenities.</p><p>X-men The Animated Series verse (season 2 related) - Dinosaurs, bantering, old men in love, jungle adventures!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rendez-vous

 

Mystique tried to stop him but she couldn’t deny the truth: Charles had sent him a dirty video because he had finally realized that him, the Master of magnetism, was right about mutants and had always been right. Magneto sighed contentedly, his feet leaving the ground, as his minions became smaller and smaller on the air platform and he flew, aided by his mutant powers.

He always knew this day would come.

The day when Charles would acknowledge the truth.

The day Charles would fall into his arms.

Magneto flew over several states faster than a hot knife through butter but he did not get tired. The magnetic field surrounding him protected him from harm and from the temperature. He was heading north and the landscape under him was quickly changing from the reddish tones of fall to white.

Here  was the telepath, overdressed and waiting on a cliff. In Antarctica. Strange choice of spot for a romantic elopement. Charles was such a weird, old romantic. Still dressed —but without cardigans—? No matter. Magneto would take care of that small matter with great pleasure. One article of clothing after the other. With his teeth.

“Erik? Thank god you’re alright. What happened?” asked Charles in his mind. Role play, maybe? No, Charles’s tone was serious.

Charles’s adorable pointy eyebrows scrunched into a disapproving frown. What had Magneto done already?

“You seem well for a dying man, Magneto”, said Charles, “I’m disappointed. You’ve never resorted to lies with me before.”

Of course he had never lied to Charles. Even excluding the matter of a breach of trust, which was below Magneto, lying to a mind-reader would be foolish. Magneto was _homo superior_ , not a prime candidate for natural deselection.. He would never lie to Charles. Obfuscate, maybe.

Perplexed, he answered “What do you mean?”

Was his voice throaty with emotion? No. The Master of Magnetism was not affected by such _homo sapiens sapiens_ emotions. He gathered his wits and hardened his voice. “It was you who asked for my presence.”

All of a sudden, Charles’s hold in his head became sharper. He got an indistinct feeling of ‘trap’, ‘danger’ before A roaring, crunching sound came from behind. It was an avalanche, coming straight toward them.

Magneto could fly away thanks to his great mastery of his mutant powers… but Charles wouldn’t be so lucky. His heart missed a beat. If he didn’t do something, Charles would be dead. The dangerous heap of snow appeared just on top of their head. Too late. Too late. Magneto wondered if Charles’s state-of-the-art wheelchair could speed fast enough from the wall of rock-hard snow advancing on them. One great rock fell between them, sending Charles on his side, his machine upside down.

Guess not.

Charles and Erik were both thrown, yelling, over the cliff and into the unknown. As Erik’s fingers searched hopelessly for Charles’s, his vision turned black.

 

* * *

 

 

“Magneto. Are you alright?” Charles’s voice beckoned Erik to the surface. He was cold. Why was it so cold? Oh yes. Charles was in danger. Erik moved frantically until his head, then his torso, were out of the snow. Charles was already half out, calling his name. He was alive.

His face was beautifully pink from the effort and the cold. It reminded Erik of younger days, when Charles inevitably blushed whenever Erik teased him with a flirty remark. Looking around, Erik wished they could somehow teleport to these long gone days. Looked like their romantic elopement was rescheduled for never.

“I am unharmed, Charles.” But was Charles? He lay on the ground, in the snow. He couldn’t extricate his legs the rest of the way. Erik crawled to him. His own legs refused to work, it was too cold out here. But for Charles he could do it.

Their hands touched. How long ago since they had touched each other? Even during fights, Charles generally stayed out of the way. Charles and Erik grunted together as they tried to stand up. Erik slipped his left arm behind Charles’s back, more or less supporting his weight. His legs didn’t betrayed him and he avoided making a fool of himself in front of Charles.

“What is this place?” asked Charles’s voice, very close to his own ear. “A rain forest? In Antarctica?”

That sounded familiar. When Erik lifted his face, a familiar landscape greeted him.

First and foremost, Erik should not meet Charles’s eyes. His face fell and a stone settled in his stomach.

“A dream?” Charles asked in bewilderment.

Erik hoped his voice didn’t betray his feelings. “No, Charles. It is real. It’s called the Savage Land.” Magneto had very good reasons to know this place was real. He named it himself.

Soon Charles would look into his mind and discover the truth, too. Erik had an uncomfortable feeling. He did nothing wrong! Why did he feel like a naughty schoolboy? Since Charles would soon know the truth anyway, Erik felt no qualms in explaining what the Savage Land was. “It was created eons ago, for a purpose long forgotten.”

“My legs!” Charles exclaimed. He pushed Erik away. His legs wobbled but… before Erik’s amazed eyes, he was standing. The hand that perpetually squeezed Magneto’s heart, ever since Cuba, eased up. Erik breathed. Charles was now taking a few steps, a teary but amazed look on his face.

Erik couldn’t contain himself. “Strange! What would restore your…”

Charles stumbled. They were standing on a cliff! What was Erik thinking, letting a man who hadn’t walked in decades wobble on unsteady legs on a dangerous cliff! Erik called his powers to him. What… Nothing!

“My powers!” he exclaimed in alarm. “They’re gone!”

Charles turned toward him, thankfully away from the edge. Their eyes met and Charles squinted his eyes in the way Erik had learned signified he was using his telepathy. Charles lifted his hand to his forehead, distraught.

“As are mine,” he answered him. Suspicious, Charles added “You seem to know this place.”

Aoutch. Well, if Charles couldn’t extract the information from his mind, he really didn’t need to know more than was necessary.

Erik chose his words carefully. “I thought I did. But nothing ever affected mutant powers before.” Animals noises could be heard  in the direction of the forest. Erik recognized the Pterosaur-like flying Klantorrs, rode by some Zebra men, racing in their direction.

Animals noises could be heard  in the direction of the forest. Erik recognized the Pterosaur-like flying Klantorrs, rode by some Zebra men, racing in their direction.

Charles’s distracting voice interrupted his thoughts “Perhaps whoever brought us here is responsible.” Always thinking three steps of everyone, good old Charles. Not so old, though. And his face was deceivingly smooth.

A cry pierced the sky. “Charles!” They had to run. But Charles, his legs… Charles was already running ahead of Magneto. No time for questions. This place was dangerous, even more so when they had no powers. Magneto was always in peak condition, he could run miles and miles with Charles’s backside to show him the way. What motivating incentive. Or at least he could have run endlessly behind his old nemesis had not a Klantorr’s claws grabbed him from behind and thrown lifted him in the air. These Zebra people. The nerve!!! Erik could see the ground under him speeding. Charles was getting away from him. Again. The beast carrying him uttered a shriek and the pain on his shoulders, from the animals scaly claws, eased up. Magneto realized he was falling. A boomerang had made the Klantorr release him… who would… 

“Magneto!” Charles’s voice resounded. He was still standing in a throwing pose. Where had Charles found a boomerang on such short notice, and so timely, too. Charles was always so resourceful. Erik wouldn’t put it past him to have one always hidden in his clothes. What a dork, Erik thought, before his body was engulfed in freezing water. Erik didn’t remember ever being so cold. They were on the edge of Savage Land and Antarctica, the water was liquefied ice. Erik sputtered as he resurfaced, shaking his head. 

Charles jumped in the water after him. “Hold on!” he called, swimming toward Erik, “I’m coming!” If Erik wasn’t so frigging cold, he would be deeply touched. As it was, he coughed weakly. He was too old and his clothes were too heavy. He wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer… 

Charles’s arms. Encircling him. Putting his head on a shoulder, the helmet a barrier between their skin. “Keep your head out,” Charles’s voice shouted to cover the noise of the waterfall, so close to his ear. Closer than it had been in… decades. That voice gave him strength. He couldn’t let Charles alone and powerless in Savage Land. He wouldn’t survive a day without Magneto!

Wait. Rewind. Charles shouted to cover the noise from the… waterfall!

Charles and him tumbled in the void.

 

* * *

 

 

Erik’s vision slowly came back to him. He had blacked out. What had happened? It was as if his lungs were staging a revolution against him. He coughed helplessly, his ability to breathe slowly coming back to him. 

Charles was talking. No surprise there, but Erik tuned him out, all his brain cells focusing on sitting up. Charles put his hand on his shoulder, anchoring him. “Do you need help, old friend?”

‘Magneto didn’t need no help!’ he wanted to answer him. But instead Erik gripped his nemesis’s shoulder with a shaking hand. Charles gripped it then moved his strong arm around his middle.

“Let yourself rest.” A soft pillow was made of Charles’s body, Erik’s head set down on a denim covered shoulder. Charles’s arms encircled him.

“Let me go, Charles.” Erik suddenly found he could get up. He had to stop relying on Charles. He needed to be the one to support him —even if the shameless groping was rather pleasant—! Magneto was the shining beacon of hope for all mutants, including his old friend and his old friend’s friends. They would see. They would learn to rely on him. First he had to show Charles he could —and had to— rely on him.

Where were they? Apparently, the flow had dropped them off deep into the jungle. When Erik lifted his head, he couldn’t see the cliff they had fallen from.

Erik stretched his long body. Could Charles see how his abs were contracting? For an old man, he had been told his abs muscle structure was to be reckon with. Running for your life on a daily basis helped. Erik peeked behind his shoulders. Yes, Charles was indeed looking. But as soon as their eyes met, he looked away. No matter. Erik bent and touched his toes with his fingertips. Watch that flexibility, Charles, he projected, even though he knew the telepath could not hear him. In this position, Erik couldn’t see the result of his blatant self-promotion. But when he stood and turned his head, Charles was looking away from him and the tip of his ears were bright red. How practical, that he had such a white skin. He couldn’t hide his body’s reaction one bit.

“So…” Charles cleared his throat, in a failed attempt not to be an awkward geek. Smooth, Charles. “Apparently, you know this place. I don’t think we can go back by the same way we came from. Where do you think we should go?”

“We won’t be able to follow the river back to the waterfall. Follow me, my old friend. We have to go further into the woods. I will lead us to the plane.” The telepath readily followed his steps as Erik tried to remember where were the old animal tracks he used to follow to orient himself in the jungle. Charles’s closeness was distracting him. Why had he advanced so close? Erik thought in panic. He could almost feel his breath on his neck. It was intoxicating. Forget about finding obscure animal tracks, Erik could not even remember how to breathe. In a moment of complete and utter folly, his hand found Charles’s. During a heartbeat, neither of them dared to move. But then Charles’s fingers closed around his own. Both of their face were beat red, but Erik slowly found a breathing pattern he could follow, though it was fast. He took a direction at random. He was fairly sure they were heading in the wrong direction but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. It didn’t matter if they got lost, as long as they were together.


	2. First Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erik and Charles are prisoners in Savage Land. While their cage is much larger than most, it is not the most comfortable. How will they manage during their first night there?

Wet sounds could be heard each time Erik or Charles took a step and a wet trail followed their feet. The longer they walked, the warmer Erik’s limbs became, as his body produced heat in his efforts. At the same time, his clothes clung to his frame and prevented his body from warming up completely. Under his helmet, his hair clung to his temples. Erik knew from experience that if he didn’t do something, his hair would dry in a most ugly fashion and that wouldn’t do.

Since they had joined hands near the river bed, neither of them dared to meet the other in the eye, even though the rough environment had forced them to separate very soon, as they needed their hands to navigate through the hostile vegetation. But Erik risked a glimpse on his left. Charles was shivering slightly, his army overall clinging to his skin, to his torso, to his arms, to his… behind… as much as Erik could see. He pretended to stumble so that he could lag behind to make sure. Yes, Charles’s clothes were as humid from the back as from the front. How curious, he was right to check, this was of utmost importance.

His view was hidden when Charles turned back. “What are you doing, old friend?”

The suspicious tone belied the innocuous question. Charles squinted his eyes in a way that made Erik wonder if the man had recovered his mental abilities and fidgeted. “One does not need to be a telepath to catch a guilty mind, old friend. Have you got something to tell me?”

Erik cleared his throat. “Only that we should find a way to dry our clothes. We don’t want to catch a cold in this unwelcoming lands, Charles.”

“Is the inconvenience really worth the risk of unclothing ourselves in such a dangerous jungle?” asked Charles, “We could be caught unaware.”

The idea had only occurred to Erik when nothing else came to his mind, but now he was quiet taken with the concept. “No, no. Our health is more important. A strategist such as you should see the wisdom of long term planning, surely,” he chided.

Charles sighed. “I fear you are right. If our skin gets softened and rubbed raw, especially on our feet, we’re as good as dead. The clothes need to dry and our skin needs to dry out. “

“You see. We just have to find a safe place!”

Erik heard Charles grumbling ‘a safe place, as if…’ under his breath, but since Charles was talking to himself, he elected to ignore it.

“There. This tree is huge. It should provide us cover if anything comes near. More important, it’s elevated. As long as one of us keeps watch, we should be able to detect an intruder.”

From the way Charles lifted one of his eyebrow and shrugged, it seemed as if he was indulging a small child’s whim. Which was stupid. Erik wasn’t one of Charles’s student. He would show him. If Charles acted unimpressed by his incredible leadership and strategic skills, he just hadn’t noticed what a perfect little alcove the place Erik had found was. As soon as Charles would seat on the lichen covered tree trunk Erik had picked out, he would realize that Magneto was a good provider.

When they were sheltered by the tall and large tree that was standing above the ground, Erik felt like he could relax. But his tension returned anew when he noticed that Charles was already in the process of taking off his buttons.

Was it hot in this jungle or what? Magneto felt an uncontrollable heat coloring his cheeks. Now Charles’s arms were bare and his clothes revealed his torso. Erik sat. Of course, he knew that using his wheelchair everyday had helped develop Charles’s upper body musculature but  this went beyond what he had imagined. On Charles’s pale skin, blue veins stood out, making the sheer size of his biceps more striking. His chest muscles were well defined but they did nothing to hide the redness that was slowly gaining ground from his collarbone to his bust. Charles was just as flustered as him, he just hid it better. But his body was sincere, at least. During most of the journey, Charles had been his usual sarcastic self, sometime throwing an ambiguous comment. Erik never knew if he was seducing or insulting him.

The only way to escape further embarrassment by pouncing on the unsuspecting (or was he?) telepath was to turn his back on the alluring display and to beat him at his own game. The obvious strategy was to strip slowly and in as seductive a manner as possible.

But this was harder than it seemed… Erik had never attempted something like this before! He wasn’t a tease and a flirt like Charles. Erik had no illusion about his friend’s misspent youth, but his was sadly lacking in the seduction department. He began by unbuttoning his trousers, at a complete loss at how to it sexily. He was 67. Too old to learn new tricks. Crap. His boots were still on. He let his pants pool at his ankles. This was so mortifying… all right all he had to do was keep on going without thinking, otherwise this could get even more embarrassing. He just had to unhook his cape, letting it fall at his feet. Right. This part went according to plan. His faithful cape had once again helped him through a hard spot. His minions were wrong to always mock it. Next went the top. Erik hooked his fingers in the hem and pulled it over his head. This time, he couldn’t resist looking over his shoulder.

Charles was indeed looking at him, frozen in place with his hand on a trouser leg. His mouth opened, he gaze was fixed on his back. Erik smirked. But the moment was ruined when he had to sit to untie his boots before he could take the rest of his trousers off. Not sheepishly, he was above such feelings of shame.

Charles was hiding his mirth with difficulty, only his british education preventing him from smiling, the jerk.

“Well, I think the underwear can stay,” said Charles, “we should take a break while they dry.” He hanged his clothes out on tree branches and settled on the ground, his legs folded under him and mildly cursing the twigs and rocks that poked him. Erik was too clever to pass up this opportunity and followed his example. This tree was really providential.

He sat next to Charles. They were too far apart to touch but Charles was also an opportunist at heart.

He stood up and went to retrieve his boots. “Be careful,” he said, “the leather could—” he hesitated, “rust. You should dry them upside down.” he decided and proceeded to fret about his footwear. When he returned, he sat closer, their thighs touching. “Wake me up when you want to go,” he said and closed his eyes. But his breathing was too regular for him to be really asleep. Erik huffed under his breath and also prepared himself for a pleasant rest.

 

 

 

When Erik woke up, he realized that the night had fallen completely. Next to him, Charles had also succumbed to sleep. His head is resting on Erik’s shoulder, the warmth from this spot spreading to his entire body in waves. Erik closed his eyes, not daring to move.

 

He woke up two more times during the night, his head turning left and right in panic. But the jungle was quiet, only the sounds of night birds and the wind on the leaves disturbing the silence. The next time his eyes opened, the sun is already in the sky. Charles had not moved an inch but his mouth was open, a wet trail spreading from his lips to Erik’s naked collarbone. Charles… gross! Erik thought in disgust. Time for revenge. Erik carefully extricated himself from under his companion. He then picked Charles’s clothes from the tree branch to wipe himself. Served him right.

 

Erik had gotten very cold during the night so he took his costume off the tree and dressed up. At the same time, he plotted. Next came the helmet. Erik felt safer with it around his head; he’d become used to the familiar weight. The cape he put on top of Charles. It was not very warm, but it should protect him from the wind. The tree they took refuge under did not bear any fruit, but the one next to it did. Erik has spent enough time in Savage Land to recognize a sapodilla tree. Its fruit were succulent! He picked up a few from a high branch and used Charles’s pocket knife, which he felt in one of his pockets, to cut the fruit in half. Then he carefully positioned the first half on top of Charles’s bald head.

 

Erik took a profound breath. “Wake me up before you go- go- ‘coz I’m not planning on goin’ solo-” he sing-songed nastily next to Charles’s ear, in a voice clear and strong enough to wake the dead.

 

Charles jumped. The sapodilla fell on his cheek, slimy flesh down. “Eeeek” was his undignified cry. “Erik! What’s happening? Are we under atta—?” But then he noticed the sapodilla fruit, took it between his fingers. “You dick,” he stated. “You unmitigated dick. I thought— You were— no matter.”

 

“You thought the worst because you were sleeping, unaware, with your head on your shoulder’s enemy. Let this be a lesson to you, Charles. Never let your guard down.” Erik didn’t even try to keep the smugness out of his face. It’d been so long since he’d had this much fun! The indignant look on Charles’s features was priceless, as was the slow descent the fruit makes on Charles’s chest, leaving a smudge in its wake. 

 

“This is disgusting. I can’t even clean myself,” Charles grumbled. He used Erik’s cape to clean his skin.

 

“Charles!”

 

“Thank you for leaving your hideous giant handkerchief close by. It’s been most useful,” the infuriating man answered. Erik sighed; he should have expected this. Their thoughts were so alike, it was really no surprise they had reacted in the same manner to a similar situation. Now if only this could extend to other parts of their relationship…

 

“Very well, Charles,” Erik said, “if that’s how you want to play it, the only thing left to do is to go back to the river to wash.” 

 

“Oh that’s right. Let’s have breakfast by the river. That is a sapodilla fruit, isn’t it?” Charles said as he bit carefully in the fruit. “There should be plenty of other fruit trees around. Let’s go, Erik. I’m sure we’ll find something.” He clapped his hands in excitement.

 

The walk down to the river was much more companionable than the outward journey. Their childish pranks had definitely broken the ice accumulated since they had parted ways. Charles was pointing at every few plant on their way, reciting their latin names; Erik was trying to identify the animal cries that could be heard. So far, they had seen some very colorful birds, some snakes, lots of insects and Charles had identified an astronomical sum of edible and seedlings, which he put in his pockets and piled into their arms. The time they spent walking side by side, gulping down tasty jungle fruits, was by far the most peaceful they had shared for years. 

 

They ended up sitting on the shore, contemplating their position.

 

“We’re further away from the waterfall than we were to begin with, aren’t we?” Charles asked in a flat tone.

 

“That might be possible.”

 

“Erik, the waterfall is out there, far away— we can’t even see it anymore. The place we ran ashore is here. Admit it: you lead us in the wrong direction.”

 

“Eat your harvest, Charles.” Which the telepath did, but not without giving him one of his patented ‘disapproving professor’ look.

 

After he finished his own fruit, Erik concentrated on the water, searching for that flash of shimmer like a gasoline streak floating through the water. Finding it, Erik struck out, keeping his feet on the dry rock while his upper body went into the river. His hands closed around a slick, writhing length of fish that he threw over his shoulder and up onto the dry rock.

 

Pulling himself up, he turned to find the fairly large fish flopping desperately on a gray rock now darkened with water spots. He hadn’t lost his old dexterity. He could provide Charles with a balanced meal, full of proteins, just as the teacher preached. Erik grabbed the fish and used his fingers to dig into the flesh under the gills, ripping the fish's body in half.

 

"Well, that's just disturbing," Charles complained, and Erik looked up to see him looking at him with even more disgust than he usually bothered with.

 

"Certainly, old friend, but we need to make this look like a popular dinosaur hunting spot. The Zebra people are not to be trifled with; once a hunt has started, they will see it through. That means no tools since I haven't seen a dinosaur use a sharp edged tool," Erik pointed out as he looked at the headless fish in his hand. "And we can't risk a fire either," he said sadly. 

 

"I suppose I can think of it as… as sushi maybe," Charles said uncertainly, and Erik used his fingers to pull at the ragged skin at the torn neck.

 

"That's the spirit," Erik said as he handed over a chunk of watery flesh. Charles took it, looking at the limp hunk uncertainly before popping it in his mouth. His entire face folded into an expression of disgust as his Adam's apple bobbed in a pained attempt to swallow.

 

"Mmm, good," Charles finally strangled out, aiming for sarcasm but failing miserably due to his body’s revulsion. Erik snickered before popping a piece in his own mouth. Then he didn’t laugh anymore.

 

"You know, there are tribes in South America who considering it good luck to eat the catch straight from the river, especially the first fish a young boy catches," Charles offered.

 

"I just know the protein will keep us going."

 

"If I don't throw it up," Charles muttered. Erik didn't even bother to answer since he found it difficult enough to swallow without thinking about vomiting.

 

"So, now we hit the road," Erik said as he tossed the remains of the fish in the river and bent down to wash his hands."

 

"And do we know how long this particular road is?" Charles asked as he did the same, rinsing away most of the foul smell before standing up.

 

"Nope. That's why you need to learn a few things. Last night I used the stars to plot our direction, so let's head back up to the campsite and I'll teach you how to avoid walking in circles," Erik said as he searched the ground for any tracks before herding his friend up the slope to the edge of the jungle.

 

"Goody," Charles answered.

 

"I guess I get to play teacher now," Erik smiled at the revenge as he scuffed out the patterns he could see in tiny ridges in the dirt as he backed his way up the slope after his companion. He thought he heard one more sarcastic 'goody' from the man, but then again, he might have been mistaken.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“So in other words, without your mutation you are completely directionally impaired.”

 

“It would appear so.”

 

Charles pursed his lips. “How can you possibly know so much theory about survival in the wild and yet be unable to apply it?”

 

Erik mulishly crossed his arms around his torso. “I never needed to use it before. Thanks to my affinity to magnetism, I always knew where the north is.”

 

The hand that was massaging Charles’s forehead stopped and passed over his nape. “At least you know your theory. I can work with that. I think we should go this way,” he said in a determined tone of voice.

 

“You ‘think’?” Erik was fairly dubious. As far as he remembered, Charles had always relied on Hank’s technology for daily matters. He was not confident in his ability to orient himself in the wild based on fifteen minutes of Erik’s half-remembered lessons.

 

“If you’ve got a better suggestion, I’m ready to hear it.”

 

Erik didn’t have one so he began to walk.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still looking for a beta. As English is not my mother tongue, I feel very self-conscious about it. Help me!


	3. Surviving with Dinosaurs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinosaurs were made to interrupt heartfelt confessions between bitter frenemies, ain't that right?

As Magneto re-familiarised himself with the background sounds of the jungle, he began to hear more. The wilderness was never quiet in normal circumstances; and the animals that inhabited this maze were far from normal, as evidenced by their bawls. The dinosaurs made very specific and curious sounds; it was almost indescribable. Like birds, perhaps, but much louder and much more disquieting. The jungle was sufficiently lush that Erik hoped that large dinosaurs wouldn’t be able to live there. What Erik and Charles found peculiar was the strange stench. It was like rotten eggs, not at all the kind of odour you would expect to find in a rainforest. But in the Savage Lands, one had to be prepared to encounter many unexplainable elements.

 

Not like his companion was any easier to figure out. Despite the fact that Charles and he  had exchanged more words during the last two days than during the last decade, it did not help him solve the puzzle that the telepath remained. It was an issue that needed to be addressed if Magneto was to find any peace of mind. “I don’t understand you, Charles,” he admitted.

 

“In what way?” Charles answered, straight-faced.

 

It was difficult for Magneto to confess what troubled him to the man, but he had to do his best. “Your life would be infinitely easier if mine were to end, yet you saved me.” It was something that occurred to him during the night, when he was recovered from the day’s hardships. Charles had never hesitated. Not one moment. He had jumped to Erik’s rescue without a second thought. Magneto had not even thanked him correctly.

 

“I do not yearn for an easy life, Magneto. Only a just one.” He looked away, as if unable to meet Magneto’s eyes. “I would take little satisfaction in your death.”

 

Erik’s heart missed a beat. He wanted to urge Charles to explain what he meant, but that was the moment a giant red dinosaur chose to interrupt them by trying to crush them under its huge claws. It was a bare few feet from them as it gave a powerful roar. Charles froze, his face a mask of dread. Next to him, Magneto did not fare much better.

 

The creature was at least forty feet, burgundy, and standing on its two hind legs. The skull was huge and it showed an array of conical teeth that were truly redoubtable. When it set itself to stop roaring and to trample on, the trees vibrated and crumbled in its wake. The tyrannosaur’s stance revealed it was ready to strike. Magneto frantically looked to the left and to the right. There was nowhere to hide! The canopy of trees that had sheltered them from the biggest predators was too far away, behind the dinosaur. They had been so engrossed in their conversation that neither of them had noticed where their feet had led them.

 

In common agreement, they fled. Just in time. The tyrannosaur’s jaw closed with a snapping sound, mere inches from their helpless backs. They had escaped certain death by a very close margin. But for how long?

 

Charles was running ahead of him. For a man who spent his days stuck in a chair, he had amazing leg power! Erik knew he should concentrate on running, but Charles backside was just too tantalizing. Charles backside disappeared in a hole! When Erik lifted his eyes, he noticed that the landscape had changed. They were standing at the bottom of some kind of tall mound. The gap Charles had hidden himself in surrounded the knoll. While Erik followed him as deep as he could in the gap he realised that they were well protected, as the ground was over their heads, coming between them and the dinosaur’s dangerous attention. Magneto’s nostrils were assaulted anew by that awful smell of rotten eggs. It was extremely strong in this place. He realised that the more they had approached the mound, the stronger the stink got. It reminded him of… sulphur . Erik knew where they were.

 

“Get to the other side of the geyser,” he shouted above the dinosaur’s mighty roar. He had a plan. Not a very good one. But it could work. Maybe.

 

Once again, Magneto’s lucky timing and expertise in critical situations —he had experience on his side, after all— had saved them again. The tyrannosaurs’  tail struck down the hole. The gap was too large, Erik realised. Large enough that the dinosaur was able to follow them inside.

 

“Keep the geyser between us,” Magneto advised. It was better that Charles stayed in front. Erik’s plan was fool-proof anyway; he might as well take full advantage of the view provided to him. Those fatigues hugged Charles’ bottom in the most enticing manner. And it gave Erik the best incentive to keep going. No way was he losing sight of Charles’ ars… of Charles. He truly wanted to provide him protection. Poor Charles. He would be lost without him, Erik thought as one step of the behemoth animal pursuing them made the ground shake and his feet leave the earth. Yes. He had to protect Charles.

 

The tyrannosaur was shutting its toothy jaw repeatedly behind them, getting closer. Magneto spotted a few handy rocks at his feet. He threw them at the dinosaur’s head.

 

“What are you doing? Isn’t he angry enough already?” Didn’t Charles understand that he was acting for their protection? The threat had to be eliminated.

 

“I don’t want him to leave,” he answered in a determined voice. Once the dinosaur had smelled a prey, it would pursue it until the end. Charles would soon understand the sheer genius of his plan.

 

“What?” Charles said incredulously. ‘Ye of little faith’, Erik thought fondly.

 

Well, he had to admit that the dinosaur’s reaction was a bit excessive. It was just an itsy bitsy  piece of stone; it needn’t get so angry. The tyrannosaur hollered in great anger, snapping its jowl full of pointy teeth right and left. It was going even faster than ever. To outrun it, Charles and Magneto had to redouble their effort. Erik was becoming exhausted.

 

“Patience, Charles. All things come to those who wait,” Erik panted. Contrarily to him, Charles was not becoming visibly out of breath. Or maybe it was Erik who was blinded by his… admiration for the mutant. Charles just appeared bigger than life sometimes. But no, the other man was also growing tired. They wouldn’t be able to run much longer. Their little racing game with a dinosaur was coming to an end. Either his plan would enter into action now or they would end up in the beast’s stomach. Take action. He had to take action. One small stone was still clenched tightly into his palm.

 

“Come and get us, you overgrown lizard,” he taunted the animal at the top of his lungs. The rock hit it on its nose. A great cry resounded in the jungle as the beast lunged at them from above the geyser. The geyser exploded in scalding hot water. The dinosaur was helpless against it. Magneto remembered that the water from the Savage Land geysers could go up to 110°C. The great outburst that had risen was menacing their own continued health, so Erik pushed Charles away from the danger.

 

When the eruption ended, they came back to the geyser. There, they could observe one dead carcass of an erstwhile tyrannosaur. Erik could finally exhale  a breath. It was only now that he realised that he wasn’t as certain of his plan as he thought he was.

 

Nonetheless, he said “I may not have my mutant powers, Charles, but I shall not die easily!”  They had really just flirted with death. But they were victorious! Once more, mutants had prevailed. With or without powers, they were always superior.

 

Erik knew that without the use of his body, Charles relied too much on his telepathy. Even if he was actually, and most surprisingly, more fit than an Olympic swimmer, and fairer at that, the man was lucky he had Magneto to show him how to defend himself using wit and physical force. Erik checked Charles over. He was in one piece. Unharmed. A heavy weight lifted from his shoulders. It was thanks to Magneto’s quick thinking! Really, this plan was not as silly as it first appeared. Any plan that worked and left no lasting wound was an exceedingly good plan. Erik would know: most of his plans failed. In excruciating ways.

 

“Erik, really. You could just have told me what you had planned. The situation is stressful enough without this irritating way you have of hiding your intentions,” Charles scolded. But behind the facade, Erik could see the relief that the scathing comment was supposed to hide.

 

“No, no, don’t thank me,” Erik teased. “Your gratefulness is accepted, Charles. After all, you are not the type of person to blame the man who just saved you.”

 

“And it is very unattractive for a so-called ‘saviour’  to gloat, I’ll have you know.”

 

Unattractive? Erik closed his mouth with a wet sound as he thought twice about his initial retort: ‘It is unseemly, Charles, to be so anchored to superficial appearance.’ That wouldn’t go over well.

 

“Do you think dinosaur meat is edible?” Charles asked. Erik spluttered. How did one anticipate such words to fall from Charles’ lips? You could melt butter on them...

 

“Well?” he insisted.

 

Erik cleared his throat. By now, he should be used to Charles’ bad habit of always saying the wrong things at the most awkward moments. “People eat snakes and crocodiles all over the world. Hell, people eat century old eggs and rotten sharks.” Erik shuddered at the thought. “I think if we cook it well, we should try it. We won’t be able to rely solely on fruits and vegetables.”

 

“My thoughts exactly. But the temperature is so high, we should eat it as soon as possible, otherwise I’m certain it will spoil. We should cut some right now. The shank should be the most tender part. Or maybe some nice round. Wait, dinosaurs are more closely related to birds! Maybe we should use poultry vocabulary,” he said in an excited voice. His hand touched the dinosaur’s dead arse. “This is the thigh. It should do. Give me back my pocket knife now, please.” The man sounded positively gleeful at the prospect.

 

The mere thought of Charles blithely cutting into dinosaur dead meat sent shudders of revulsion down Erik’s spine. “I will do it myself. Go away. Go see if… just… go find a nice eating spot. You are a menace, Charles.”

 

“If this is an attempt at keeping the only knife we have for yourself, you are sadly mistaken, old friend. I expect it back as soon as you are done. There is already far too much metal on you with that dreadful helmet. Why you haven’t dumped it somewhere yet I’ll never understand,” the telepath replied without realising what a profound blunder he just committed.

 

Magneto flinched. “What do you mean by ‘dreadful helmet’? What is wrong with my helmet? I thought you liked it!”

 

“What could possibly compel anyone to ever like such an object? Erik, one should be colour-blind to consider this… is it fuchsia?” His voice took on an introspective quality. “No, more vulgar…”

 

Erik interrupted him, overcome with anger. “This helmet is the bright symbol of mutant resistance! How dare you criticise it when all you’ve ever done is hide in your school and consort with human politicians set on destroying us!” He thought Charles liked the helmet. He’d seen what he was forcing his students to wear and taken the example into consideration. First he called his cape hideous, now this.

 

“Sweet Jove, I thought we were avoiding politics for the time being.”

 

“We were until you insulted the beacon of hope that this accessory represents. You wear your army fatigues from the Vietnam War whenever you leave your mansion without your pet X-Men, for fuck’s sake. I’ll have you know, it is not an improvement over your usual flea-ridden cardigans.” He had no right to insult anyone’s sense of fashion. And fuchsia was a very distinguished color. One only a man of taste was able to wear. Charles thought wearing old-fashioned cardigans equalled making an ideological statement.

 

“Obviously, we have widely different opinions on what constitutes appropriate outdoor clothing. How long do you think this cape will survive while we run in the Savage Lands? It will come apart sooner than you can say the word ‘mutant‘. Look,” he pointed to the ground, “the edge is already frayed. It must have ripped when we ran from the tyrannosaur.”

 

Indeed, his cape had seen better days. The poor thing had a long tear on its side, as if a big claw had slashed through it. Magneto inspected the fabric with a forlorn expression. Charles was right. His trusty cape, which had accompanied him during all his campaigns, during his most daring stunts, would never survive a long stay in the jungle. “Charles, just go make yourself scarce for a few minutes if you can,” he interjected scathingly, “you’re not being of any help here. In fact you’re being a hindrance, and an insulting one to boot.” His intent was to hurt his friend so that he would leave him alone. With his luck, Charles would be so insulted he wouldn’t even come back. But when he looked up, his old friends was looking at him with something akin to regret. Then he averted his head and walked away in silence. His figure disappeared behind the trees without him looking back once.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you saw last chapter, Charles is actually disgusted by the sight and the mere idea of cutting an animal open. He is totally pulling Erik's leg, the manipulative little jerk. Erik's horrified expression must have been worth it!
> 
> And if this chapter contains less mistakes than the previous ones, it is because [lapetiteyoyo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lapetiteyoyo/pseuds/lapetiteyoyo) has proposed her services betaing this mess :)   
> Many many thanks to her!

**Author's Note:**

> This story now has a beta! Please address your thanks to [lapetiteyoyo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lapetiteyoyo/pseuds/lapetiteyoyo). Her contributions are making this story so much better!  
> This silly thing wouldn't exist without [Jadenvargen's](http://jadenvargen.tumblr.com/) inspirational fanarts. Go. Look. Admire.


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